bananas on toast

Now don’t judge this entry before you read it, it’s actually about a very important subject: James Blunt really is the most pathetic artist to ever make a hit. Besides, I haven’t been this blatently horrible since I spoke about Big Brother, so I deserve this rant. How this whingey, whiney, piece of crap ever got signed is beyond me, but the fact that some people seem to think him crying about some kind of lost boyfriend is even more mind boggling.

I’ve been meaning to write this for a while but my respect for other peoples musical tastes has held me back I’ve been too busy, however I can stay silent no longer. If this is some April fools joke that is brewing in the back of the mind of some musical talent agent (i.e. “Hahaha, I knew that I could make the world public actually listen to this tool!”), I think it’s safe to say the joke is over.

Today I was walking around the office and overheard the latest awful hit from this crybaby crooning across the speaker system. “Goodbye my lover, goodbye my frie–” I punch at the skip button and I am never so grateful for the rancid sound of Lifehouse. Now, to clarify, I am not a big Lifehouse fan, but hearing them honestly makes me want to dance.

Now before you hit the comment button and type something in his defense, have you seriously listened to the song You’re Beautiful? This song describes a girl he saw on a subway and apparently “shared a moment that will last till the end.” I am sure that when 16 year old girls listen to this song and see some super hot Blunt-like guy on a subway somewhere staring at their tits and call it a moment. But in all seriously, he just likes cleavage like most guys, sorry to break your heart.

I think that the song Goodbye My Lover would have to take the Worst-Song-In-The-Top-40-For-At-Least-The-Last-6-Times-Mitch-Has-Listened-To-Radio award. I would honestly rather watch Ashlee Simpson make a fool of herself on Saturday Night Life (big link, huh?) while having a cannibalistic midget perform fellatio on me then listen to this shit. As if it’s not bad enough that he has to sing, it’s even worse that he has to use this whining tone. I doubt he could sound any more like a crybaby if he tried, it makes me sick.

Go download the album from Napster, Bittorent, eMule, WinMX, Limewire or whatever downloading tool you use, just don’t buy it (I wouldn’t wish that kind of dissatisfying purchase on my worst enemy). Keep it in your C:\Music\Kill Myself Playlist folder, just in case you ever feel suicidal and ever need the push over the edge. Either that or you can just listen to it and tilt your hat to whatever marketing genius actually brainwashed people into listening to this shite. You choose.

Disclaimer: I hold no responsibility for James Blunt driving any reader of bananas on toast to suicide. I also do not condone this listening of such appalling music. Furthermore, I cannot be held accountable for any guys going sterile from the complete lack of quaility in this album, it’s just not my fault.

Update: Due to the fact I have better things to do with my time than argue with whiney James Blunt fans I have disabled commenting. I guess if you have something further to say on the matter you’ll have to start your own stupid website.

When people ask me why I keep this site I simply tell them it’s for me. I have a well rehearsed speech that goes something like this: “It’s mostly for my own benefit, in a way it’s a life story, it just has the advantage that other people can read it and see it take place.”

While this is mostly true, it’s not really the only reason. I never had another reason to write here until recently when I went and visited Mik and Harmony last week before a party. We had a few drinks and went to a birthday party together where Harmony said to me, “you know that Mik logs on to your webstie all the time saying ‘I wanna see what Mitch has been up to!’”

I realised that due to the fact that Mik and I hardly see each other, it was a way of him keeping in check with my life and that made me realise just how many people in my life may not get a chance to catch up with me all the time. Ryan, Mik and Claire to just name a few people who check it out now and then to see what I am up to.

I think that out of anyone who may or may not read my website, Mik reading it makes me the happiest. I miss spending time with Mik so much it’s unbelievable and knowing he enjoys my website just makes me really happy.

Consider this a tribute to the only Rocksar I know, Mik you rule, my brother!

Note: If you read this makes sure you comment and make me feel special!

Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised.

- Marilyn Manson

Now there is a way to run Windows on an iMac and personally I think it’s a great thing for Apple. I am starting to regret my recent update to an LG laptop, I should have bought a sexy iBook and dual booted both operating systems.

Clearly Amazon are spending their money in the right places when you get e-mail like this.

Mitchell Malone, Amazon.com has new recommendations for you based on 12 items you purchased or told us you own.

We recommend Just a Geek
by Wil Wheaton
http://www.amazon.com/o/ASIN/059600768X/ ref=pe_ar_A2DUBGPKKJKM__x1059600768X

List Price: $24.95
Price: $15.72
You Save: $9.23 (37%)

Looks normal right? I already have the book. Where did I buy it? Amazon. Good going Amazon!

Remember all the anti-trust issues people had with Google when they found out that Google keep all their data for research? Imagine the fortune of a government that can manipulate Google into sharing their data with them. Honestly, does the American government have nothing better to do than work out new ways to spy on their (and other) citizens?

Tonight I logged on to check my phone bill and noticed it was a bit large and went through some documentation I had here in hard copy. I found a bill saying that I had around $80 overdue on my account and figured that is why it was large and called my Telco (I won’t drom names) to say “whassup?!” It turns out that my charges were legitimate and I just use my phone to much, but the coolest thing happened afterwards.

The operator on the phone asked me politely, “may I take a few minutes of your time and ask your some questions about your service with [Telco]?”

This is where I am supposed to say that my capped plan is awesome and I love making phone calls and text I don’t have to pay for and laugh in the operators face. Instead I realize that the only thing I have to look forward to tonight is trying to code some PHP with a headache so I humor him. “Sure,” I say smoothly and prepare my replies for when he offers me shitty ways to “reduce my bill”.

“How would you like to pay $10 less per month, get another $300 worth of calls, get less expensive calls, be one of the first to try out the 3G network in Australia, AND get a new Nokia N70 phone?”

My wit escapes me and my replies all seem like discarded palm cards as I stutter, “what’s the catch?”

The operator laughs and cooly says, “the same catch we always have here at [Telco], you just have to sign for another 12 months!”

Now, for those of you who are uninitiated: I am a mobile-a-holic. Seriously. I text a lot, I talk a lot and I love the idea of being in touch with people and I use my phone for almost everything. So offering a free phone that has all the latest gadgets to a technophile and a mobile addict is like putting cake in front of a fat kid.

So, the three reasons to query your Telco:

1. Cheaper shit
2. New, free and cool phone
3. I won indoor soccer

Clearly 3 has nothing to do with anything, but I had to put that in there. Take that you little 17 year old twats, we smashed your asses and I feel like such a hero in my own lunchbox!

Sincerely yours,
Signing off,
Mitch

P.S. Rawk! \m/

Nokia N70, originally uploaded by bananasontoast on flickr.com.

And Shepherds we shall be
For thee, my Lord, for thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand
Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomeni Patri, et Fili, et Spiritus Sancti.

- Family Prayer, The Boondock Saints (1999)

Truly a great movie!

Now this is how a real geek plays Quake 3!

So I’ve made some minor updates to the site, most of which are purely cosmetic. Firstly I have changed the color scheme slightly to give the pages a little more life – all the colors are now a lot brighter. I also added in a search feature to the right, along with archives to go back into past entries and some other links to make navigating past entries a lot easier.

I think one of the best things about designing websites is choosing the color scheme and adjusting it to perfection. Without a good color scheme the website will give a totally wrong feel and the site will constantly look out of shape. Generally speaking the mood I am usually sets what color I start off with, but the colors I choose to compliment it will always vary. Since my first ever website I have gone through several color schemes, most of which used a black base. Personally I think the color scheme I am on now is the best I have ever used.

Website Redesign, originally uploaded by bananasontoast on flickr.com. Click the image to see what the site looks like if you have a good resolution and/or a widescreen like mine!

Lately so much has been going on that this website has been one of the last things on my mind. Claire and I spent a lot of time together in the weeks leading up to her leaving and we seem to have spent a lot of time (and money) on the phone lately talking to each other. I found out that Mel and Claire both found out about this site and started reading it a short while ago. Hopefully they will leave some comments next time!

I’ve been working on a lot of old University assignments, either re-doing them better or doing ones that I didn’t previously do to get myself back in the swing for going back to University. I am deciding whether to recommence my current degree eiher this semester or next or whether I may start a degree more to what I really want to do. Coding is great and definitely what I want to do and I feel like my current degree concentrates too much on other stuff.

Clearly I need to take more time to write, so instead of trying today while I am hungover and tired I will leave this with some photos of Claire and I on our recent weekend together.

In the summertime!, originally uploaded by bananasontoast on flickr.com.

Cheeky, originally uploaded by bananasontoast on flickr.com.

Got iPod? Got Wiki? Get both! This is a cool way to put the entire Wikipedia on your iPod to carry around with you.

Internet relationships have their perks, but this article on a dude dating his mother is enough to turn anyone off them!

153 Resources on Windows opensource and/or freeware. Never pay for software again!

Here is a good article for all the web geeks on hiding email addresses written by Sarven Capadisli.

Workrave is a tidy little application to make sure us geeks remember to take our breaks. Definately a good idea on those late night coding adventures!

Fedex Kinko’s Smart Cards Hacked at Mal-Aware.org. The ExpressPay stored-value card system used by FedEx Kinko’s is
vulnerable to attack. An attacker who gains the ability to alter the
data stored on the card can use FedEx Kinko’s services fraudulently
and anonymously, and can even obtain cash from the store.