New phoneage

Yeah baby! I just score a brand spanking new Nokia N-Gage! Woo hoo! Man they are cool phones, but the only problem is that the little bastards don’t come with any games. How much does that just suck? Oh well, all in all it’s still a kick ass phone, only thing left to do now is to sell my old phone on Ebay (which shouldn�t be too hard).

You know what the best part is about getting a new gizmo? The manuals. I like to use mine to make my bookshelf look full and just like everyone else with a full bookshelf; I haven�t read anything on it. Who reads manuals? I mean, I know chicks do sometimes, but is there anyone in the world so god damn dumb that they can�t figure out that the button with the envelope on it is for messages? If there are; where are these morons, who are these people and why haven’t they been shot? I think they should have two options; male and female. That way when they are selling stuff to a guy they can save the company a buck fifty and not supply the manuals.

I�ve been in contact with the guy who I am buying my laptop off and it looks like it’s definitely happening. It’s an awesome system and for less than $2,000 ($1,995 – lol) it is also an awesome buy! I am really excited and I can’t wait to get it, but after I get it I have to begin the dreaded task of selling my old PC. I don’t care about parting with it, but listing every last item on Ebay and shipping it all off is going to be a nightmare.

I want to write

I have such an overwhelming urge to write. I want to write all day long until my fingers are sore and my keyboard is almost broken. I have so many thoughts and ideas all at once that I can’t catch just one of them and put it down. I wish I could slow my mind down enough to listen to my thoughts for a few seconds and hear myself think.

On the techno-upgrade I am going through; it seems to be all-steam-ahead! As of today I am purchasing the laptop I wanted, and after I pay for it I will begin Ebay auctioning my PC, piece by piece. It will be a headache, but I definitely think it’s a good idea.

I am also probably getting that new phone too. I should be able to get just enough for my current phone to get the new phone for $100 or for free, so I am pretty happy about that. I just want to have Sonic the Hedgehog with me at all times – lol.

I wish I had more focus lately to be able to concentrate on my University work. I really can’t seem to force my head down long enough to get even the slightest bit done. I know I need too, but it gets more and more difficult every day – I’m really stuck in a rut. I have the time and the opportunity to do it all, I’m just so lazy lately and it kills me. It kills me because I know I could be getting some really good marks and I’m not pursuing them as hard as I can. I am still getting okay marks, but not the exceptional marks I know I am capable of.

Rate this pic

All right, so my little brothers good mate Shaun did this drawing and sent it to me. This is the same guy who drew me a few months back, if anyone rememebers. I wanted to put it up on my website for all to admire and I really want you kids to comment. If you like the drawing, PLEASE post a comment to this post and give the fella some support. I think he is a terrific artist myself and I hope you guys do too. Enjoy!

Please note: Shaun drew the picture, scanned it in and made the whole lot in Paint Shop Pro. Any graphic artists out there will know that Paint Shop Pro isn’t the easiest software to use, especially when compared to some of the more expensive paint tools out there.

Also note: Shaun is also available for freelance graphic art, let me know if you want him to draw anything for you and I’ll pass the message on.


First of all I have to say; isn’t this the most awesome phone ever to exist? I mean, anything that combines telecommunications and Sonic the Hedgehog has to be cool. So I think I am going to try and sell my phone and get one, because they are too cool. But first I have to sell my PC and buy a Laptop, which promises to be a huge headache. So basically I am in the middle of a very cool electronic upgrade at the moment, so hopefully it will be fun. I’ll keep the weblog updated with any geeky changes that happen in the world of Me.

Well this was supposed to be a long entry, but I have kind of run out of things to say. Well, maybe next time.

Schnapps Evening

Angel headed hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night

Know this quote? It’s from Hackers right? Did you also know there is a poem titled “Howl”, by Allen Ginsberg, which this quote comes from? Definitely worth a read.

Who wants a story?
In my first year at college my friends and I discovered the delights of $7 bottles of Schnapps. Pretty potent stuff given that the liquor shop were practically giving it away. So every one of my friends and I bought a bottle (or four) and we decided to rendezvous in T-Bones room for a “Schnapps Evening”. Man what a night!

By the end of the night there were naked people running around college, a whole lot of people puking all over the place and a drunken donkey called “Steve” (pictured below).

I loved college life and all it had to offer, but it was nights like this that made you feel immortal. Cheap alcohol, good friends, some music and a tiny college dorm room. Those were the nights I lived for at college and the Schnapps Evening truly was one in a million.

English Muffins make Mitch’s stomach smile

I’ve got the cure for the itch, next time you wake up hungover, try Mitch’s 5 simple steps to recovery.

Step 1: Sleep in as much as possible, but when you do wake up consume copious amounts of water. Hopefully by the time you are ready to get out of bed you have at least a few litres in your stomach.

Step 2: English Muffins. Find them, eat them, find more, eat more. These things are awesome at soaking up whatever is left in your stomach and settling it. I had the raisin ones, they were still pretty darn good.

Step 3: Shower with Lynx Anti-Hangover (or the uplifting guarana one). You would think it’s a gimmick, but they really do work. They contain cool stuff that seriously makes you feel better. The gaurana and stuff is just absorbed through your skin and definitely helps after a big night.

Step 4: Locate an air conditioning duct and have a nap directly in front of it. Lowering your body temperature will definitely help in getting those last nasties out of your system.

Step 5: Go get drunk again. Repeat.

Hope this helps all the alcoholics who might read this page.


I know this is my fourth blog entry today and it’s getting beyond a joke, but I promise to try and hurry. I have to let everyone in on a short experience of mine tonight at the local supermarket. Tonight I needed some hair gel – okay stop it with the comments or this weblog will be over in the click of my fingers – because the stuff I was using was making me sticky and making me look like a girl.

So I am walking down the aisle sizing up the different brands and saw a new one being advertised as being “for blokes”. Pretty funny I know considering all the gay jokes I will cop for this off my friends, but let’s progress into the story. I am standing there and I put the new gel into my basket and from behind me I hear a comment about how good it is to see that some guys can unashamedly look after themselves and take pride in their appearance. I laughed it off considering I only use it because if I don’t my hair is fluffy and makes me look like more of a dork than usual. As I turn around the person who made the comment caught my eye and to my surprise she was actually quite attractive. Attractive, but clearly a bit older than me considering her son was with her and he was about 15 years old.

Oh my god! Did a MILF just make a pass at me? I mean, she had to have been at least 35 years old, which isn’t that old, but seriously I am only 21. She smiles up big, which is even worse because the look on her son’s face is that of sheer embarrassment. I really felt for the kid, but I couldn’t help laughing (on the inside) at this 35 year old trying to pick up a youngen’ with her son present.

So I laughed this off and made way for the checkouts. I figure it was time to get out, but just then I realize that I have forgotten to get a bottle of coke like I wanted. I figured the coke was miles away from the aisle with the gel etc. in it, so I make a dash hoping to get out before the clutches of the MILF came for me again. I walk towards the express lane and notice that the MILF is currently last in the line.

Do I line up behind her or do I find another checkout? I look down the row and every checkout has at least 600+ item customers and I am looking at a long wait. I bit down hard and make way for the express lane. Much to my comfort she is too busy fluffing her hair for all the guy walking in to be worried about the guy standing behind her and her son looks like he is about to kill her. All in all a funny experience and a narrow escape of the perverted older women.

Dear MILF,

If you are reading this, you must know that in another time and place your comment may have been taken nicely and I could have fulfilled a fantasy. I am sorry, but I have a girlfriend right now and hopefully won’t be done with her until you are old and withered. Thanks for the compliment anyway.

– Mitch

P.S. Nice mini skirt, seriously. 😉

Just a small note for the anonymous swine who once again emailed me without revealing who they are to abuse me on being a “cheating bastard”. Perhaps you need to reactivate your humor chip and read this entry again? The entire point of this entry was that I have *no* intentions on cheating on my girlfriend, but rather to emphasize the hilarity of the MILF and her poor poor son. If it was your mother then I apologise deeply for checking her out, but the lady has some pretty nice legs. I suggest getting a life and stop living out of other peoples weblogs, especially someone as boring as I.

More fun then a Barrel o’ Monkeys v3.0

This weeks Friday Report is going to be a bit of a comic fest. In recent times many friends of mine have pointed me to various online comics and the likes, so I figure why not give the masses (my two regular readers and you, anonymous swine) what they have been asking for. Just a warning; this is a slightly longer than normal entry so I won’t be displaying the entire entry on the main page.
Continue reading More fun then a Barrel o’ Monkeys v3.0

Boredom bites hard

What is the worst part about boredom? In my opinion it’s the fact that you would give anything to have it killed and there is no one around to take your “anything” from you and alleviate your boredom. Here I sit, it’s Friday night and you would *think* I would have something to do. Do I? Not chance. Apart from sitting here, coding up some assignments and possibly having a Heineken and posting on my weblog, I ain’t doin’ shit.

Mostly I put it down to this. I grew up here, in Dubbo, with a lot of good friends. Some of them still live here, but most of them have moved away for Uni. The few who stayed are still the 16-year-old idiots that I was when I was 16. Unfortunately I have changed so much over the last 5 years that those guys just annoy the absolute crap out of me. So basically my choices are between being bored or pulling my hair out, and considering I am already thinning on top I choose being bored.

Man, I’m complaining a lot huh? On much happier notes, even though you might not guess, I am happier right now than I have been in a long long time. I’ve met someone who shares all my interests, my beliefs in life and it also doesn’t hurt that she is absolutely gorgeous. When she reads this she will probably tell me to edit that part out, but I don’t care, she IS gorgeous.

Okay, so I am about to go and try and write up something fun for the Friday Report and hopefully get that back on track. That will be my third post today, but who’s counting right?

Update: I will be working a little harder on keeping the Friday Report a bit more regular. To make it a little more fun I would love it if users commented to the existing Friday Reports any sites they would like to see in future. Thanks.

Not the same

It has been recently bought to my attention that I am not as funny as I used to be. I received an email from someone whom I do not know, but they felt the need to tell me what I am doing right and wrong and to give me a friendly “you are not as funny as your old blogs”. I’m not quite sure if that sentence makes complete sense, but thank you anonymous swine, I will try and be funnier.

Let me see. Well today my little brother informed me that the little ball of hotness I witnessed a month ago today is soon to be informed of what a perve I am. If I cared this could be classified devastating news, but I have a girlfriend so to be honest I couldn’t give a shit. I mean, it’s not like the girl doesn’t know she is hot.

In other news I am having yet another lonely weekend. All my friends are at Uni and my girlfriend is busy; so it’s just me, a bottle of red wine, 2 assignments, an acoustic guitar and a block of cheese.

God, am I tragically trying to be funny? I think I am. Good god, is there anything more pathetic than the kid at the party who tells the lame jokes? I’m going to crawl under a rock now.

Six die in a tragic accident: