Exam Number Three

It’s just 25 minutes until my exam. Last night, between being nervous and being the only the second night I have spent alone in about a month, I just couldn’t sleep. I feel sick right now so I am going to get a Red Bull on the way to my exam, there is nothing like caffeine and taurine to make you feel alive! I feel sick and rundown and although I only got 3 hours sleep last night I feel less tired than I have for the last week. Alright, enough whinging and whining, while writing this I revised some last minute stuff, let’s hope I’ve done enough study.

* gone: 08:51 am *

* back: 11:37 am *

Just think, I haven’t been writing in 2 hours, but for you it seems like I have just left. First the bad news, I failed. I am, of course, nowhere near certain of this, but I am not confident I passed either, therefore, I feel like being a pessimist. Let’s just hope I passed.

Now for the humor…

It’s approximately 9:33 am and the reading time has just expired. The geriatric turns to us and says in a somewhat slurred (he is possibly drunk on that religious wine stuff) voice, “you may now begin.” Thanks pecker head, I pick up my pen and begin to scribble. Exactly 10 seconds later, my nose starts running and all the dust from the goddam church I was being examined in was up my nose well and truly. I am sneezing and sniffing for the next 2 hours.

It’s approximately 9:40 am and I am part way through blitzing Question 1. I look up to find that the girl in front of me is reading her booklet, entitled, “K-6 Mathematics” and pounding away ferociously at her calculator. I’m sorry, this moron is studying 3rd year teaching (I saw her exam paper as I was coming in) and she needs a freakin’ calculator to do (at a maximum) Year 6 work? When I was in Year 6 I wasn’t allowed to use a calculator, which basically means at age 12 I had more intellect than this person who is at least 20 years old – man, how pathetic. Honestly, the morons who do education degrees and later go on to become an influence in young children’s lives, it’s honestly quite frightening.

It’s approximately 10:00 am and the brainiac in front of me is breathing heavily and quite clearly trying her hardest not to cry. She must have forgotten how to spell “echidna” or what the capital of NSW is. She’s beginning to sob and I am trying so hard not to laugh. She makes a break for the toilet and returns a few minutes later wiping her eyes. Someone should have told her we were in a church and we could hear her bellowing, but I sure didn’t have the heart. Again, she is punching at her calculator as if her life depends on it. Considering I can see two Law students (they have big text books with them), an accounting student (he said hi to me outside) and no one else with a “K-6 Mathematics” booklet, it’s safe to say that she is the biggest moron in the room – save maybe the 60 year old alter boy. I laugh quietly to myself until I am warned.

It is approximately 10:30 am, the one-hour mark, and everyone starts getting a little fidgety and starts writing faster. It is now apparent that the moron studying Primary Education has given up; she leaves the building crying her eyes out. I think perhaps she forgot her watercolors and was asked for a self-portrait or maybe she went out of the lines and forgot an eraser. Oh well.

It is approximately 11:00 am and I begin finishing up. I have answered all of the questions I knew and made a good guess at the questions I thought I knew a little of. I am starting to worry because I had wanted to do better. I guess we will just wait and see how my marks are when they turn up – if they are good I’ll post them here, if not, I will probably just forget to mention.

It is approximately 1:00pm. I am typing this. I am hungry. I’ll go eat lunch now.