My problem with waiting

I don’t know why I have, but I’ve always had a problem with waiting for anything. Christmas time growing up was so stressful for me because I was too honest to go snooping, but too anxious to sleep. It would literally drive me into anxiety attacks where I would just feel very out of body until the event had it.

Today I tried to update my phone and the Teltra phone support guy canceled my contract in the wrong way and completely screwed me. I only have to wait 24 hours, but I can already feel this itch building up inside me and I hate it. I mean, this is seriously nothing, it’s just a new phone, big deal right? Wrong! It’s not the phone, it’s the fact that I have to wait for it! I mean, I even have a problem waiting to use the bathroom sometimes, surely you can guess how this is effecting me.

While I was growing up, my mother would take great pleasure in picking up presents from under the Christmas tree, shaking them and proclaiming, “I know what is inside this, do you?” Sure, it’s a harmless joke, but it really ticked me off. She would also say, “I know something you don’t know,” and make me wait hours until she would tell me. None of this is a bad thing, it’s just that where most people would laugh at her and wait their time, I completely got so distressed over it. I’m not blaming her at all, but I just have no patience anymore for waiting for things to happen.

So yeah, tomorrow I’ll be getting a new phone. Not because I need a new phone, some of you might still remember when I got my N-Gage, but because I want a camera phone so I can do photo blogging. I am thinking of keeping a photo blog down the side of my regular journal and EVERY day I will take a photo of something I did or saw. It should be fun and it will begin as of tomorrow.