Football Schmootball!

“Footie season starts next weekend mayte! F**kin’ excited or wha’? Go the doggies!” Mmmm football, the love of every jocks life and the bane of every intelligent persons existance… Where do I begin… The two major codes within Australia…

AFL – Not even football… A bunch of large men in small shorts, running around, jumping in the air and rather than actually acting like men and playing a contact sport, at the first sign of trouble they punt the ball away with their limp little wrists and meet in the shed after the game for lattes and blowjobs. If my awesome arguement thus far isn’t enough, the sport was played by Warwick Cappa for fuck sakes!

NRL – Whoever invented this sport must have been a caveman. I can just picture it: “Ugh. Guh. Ugh. Let’s make a game where we run at each other as fast as we can, kill our brain cells, then take about 4.5 seconds to get ready to do it all over again.” This would have to be the only sport in the world where an IQ is not only not necessary, but not having one is almost a requirement.

The only true football is English football (a.k.a. Soccer). Now that is a game of skill. I’m not talking about drunkin darts with your mates at the pub, but the kind of skill that requires practice and no flukie bullshit. Another good game is, as Dream_Brother mention, Rugby Union. It may be a “football” (I use inverted commas because true football is English football) code, but at least the game requires skill and brains and as opposed to this shitless brickies laborers and grease monkeys that play NRL, most of the teams are made up of accountants, managers and lawyers.